My ex husband took my kids and left the state is he in contempt to court?

this is the story. i was married to this guy for 3 years. i was having problems with him putting his hand on me while i was pregnant, i keep letting him do it and do it and do until i said **** it! it's not going to happen after i have my baby. if i have to take my kids away from the situation i will and that's wat i did. i took my kids to a friend of mine i was going to church with. she help me out because she seen the bruises on me. getting down to business he call dss department and told them i neglected my kids. Not True! the gave us court appointed lawyer my lawyer was unorganized, illiterate,unprofessional, and etc. and his lawyer was on her ****. i called my lawyer back to back to back never getting a call back. the had court march 10 and i didn't show because my dumb lawyer didn't tell me what day. on that day do to fact that i didn't show they granted him custody of both my kids my 4 year old and 3 yea old the 4 year old is not his!!! he sometimes would throw this up in my face. they granted me visitation every other weekend like i did drugs or hurt my kids. so i went along with it but sometime he would miss my visitations or would let me see them. my daughter turned 4 in july and it was my weekend to get her. i spent like 300 dollars at chucky cheese that went down the drain because he thought it would be cute for me not to see my daughter. he got out the militery in sept and left the state without letting me know anything. i havent seen my kids in almost a month on the 14 of oct and only talked to them twice!! wat can i do??? please give me advice. i am only 22 and got alot going on